Originality

I was pondering the many arguments I have had with the opposite sex in my life and came to the conclusion about the more insecure weaker sort of man.  I have a tendency to over analyze everything in my life.  I will replay an incident in my head over and over again.  I imagine how the scenario could have better benefited me and purposes were it approached from a different angle, or even by choosing my words more carefully.  This way I can assess my doing in a situation and decide if I need to do damage control. 

Veering back on topic I had a disagreement with a gentleman I had been seeing.  (No this is not my friend that I speak about.) I am completely over the situation with him but since there has been a long history between us I thought I could salvage at least some form of friendship.  I'm realizing now that men can be just as vindictive as women are portrayed.  (Warning: I can be very nasty and very cold when backed into a corner.  The submissive switch is no where in sight and you might want to take cover.)

So in the midst of this would be "discussion" I had finally had enough of the name calling and I actually stayed calm, not slinging insults.  So I asked, in a voice completely devoid of emotion, that he not call me again for a while.  So why I am replaying this conversation over and over? AND why am I so bothered by it that I have to write about it? This gentleman and I were friends at one point and he was a confidante to some of my thoughts and privy to conversations (fights) I had with my ex-husband. 

Was he angry or just merely hurt at my request that he not speak to me for a long while?  "Have fun being miserable and alone." Now I do not know whether to credit these words to my exhusband or the gentleman, but I'm quite positive these words were said by the former long before the latter.  Which I had informed the latter of in a rant at one point this summer. The words did not hurt me when they were spoken by the former, they enraged me.  One, for thinking that I'm so pathetic I could not be happy with myself and be alone, and secondly, for thinking I'm so weak minded that his words spoken in anger would carry any weight with me. 

No, the problem lies with not only the fact the gentleman lacks originality, but that he too assumed this would hurt my feelings.  I am realizing now that each of them in their own ways are incredibly immature or insecure. The gentleman, however, is worse I think. Using another mans material to lash out in anger to hurt me? It shows his lack of regard for my feelings from the start.  Instead of getting angry when he said this to me  I said good-bye.  Why be vindictive if someone hasn't actually done anything to you?

I think I might choose men whose will is lesser to mine to control situations around me.  I then realize no matter how great their redeeming qualities are, they are not what I need.  I then end up ranting about it on a blog knowing good and well had I just went with my gut feelings in the beginning none of this would have happened.  Either way moving along. 

I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving.  I'm down to crunch time in school and won't be posting as often since I have exams.  Not to mention the holidays coming up.  Oh woe is me.