Monday, November 19, 2012

Denied and In Denial


I think that being brought to the brink of climax and being denied is probably the worst sort of torment. So what about a situation that you have been teased repeatedly and you are gradually becoming more and more aroused? Each of those times you are being brought closer to completion but it stops each time a little closer to it? You think each of these times, "Maybe this is it. Maybe he will let me finish this time." No he becomes more sadistic and takes the teasing up a notch with a better foray of pleasure.

You're thinking okay maybe this time right? I started with my clothes on the kitchen and the next thing I know... I'm naked from the waste down with his head between my legs on the back of his car in the garage and the door is open. Where everyone and God could see me in this state of dishevel. I could not have cared less either. I might have cared an hour before this game of red light green light.

It progresses to where I know it's just a second away, and I can barely able to keep myself up for the shaking and the pleasure. I was so close, it was about to happen. Then I'm ripped put of my haze, taken off my perch. DENIED! again! (I'm sure it goes without saying while we are together he will not let me finish it myself)





On this encounter I was completely sated repeatedly a little later in the evening.

The following encounter was a lot shorter for us.  As we both had things to do.  To make a long story short I was teased and denied again, but this time there was no grand finale. I finally talked to him that evening and I asked why he was so mean and he replied, "I don't want you to think you will be spoiled every time."

WTF

As him and I have never discussed TTWD.  There has never been any mention or reference to the vernaculars in conversations between us.  I had a chat with a friend last night about this and he said I was up against a mental sadist and he had me just where he wanted me.  As you know the name of this blog is "Control: Reluctantly Letting Go." This game of cat and mouse between him and I has went on mentally and physically for months and by months I mean 6.  I had just assumed the progression of the intensity of our sporadic liaisons was that he had learned what I wanted. Am I wrong here? Was he this way from the beginning? Either way I have let a orgasm denying monster into my midst.

OR

Could this just be me having hard time of realizing I am not in control? I might be getting what I want sexually, but I still do not trust another individual with that much mental hold over me? Am I still trying to control every aspect and feeling I have for another? I do not understand what this relationship is.  I could handle this better were the parameters of it made clear.  Are we friends with benefits? or Has he went about a covert mission to completely screw with my head?  Is this just amusement to him? I do not know.  Which is why I lay these questions at your feet.

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