Monday, April 23, 2012

Reassurance



She was sitting there thinking about how awkward she felt with her hands and feet restrained with all of her most private parts bared to the world. He had her blind folded, and she was scared to ask what he was doing. Since they began this she always wanted to ask "why" or "what for" but for some tiny reason she just did not dare.  She felt so exposed and extremely insecure about herself down there.  Then she felt him come near her and he gave her a fast hard kiss on the lips.  

He stood there beside her and said, "You know how beautiful you look right now?" 

She only shook her head no.  He was touching the contours of her body ever so softly and not saying a word.  She had goose bumps all over and she was getting so wet.  She was scared it would show the way she was positioned. 

"Don't worry dear its a natural thing for you to get wet for me.  After all I want you wet and wanting," he said in her ear as he rubbed his fingers up and down her slit.  This was the first time she had ever done anything like this.  She felt herself cowering but steeled herself, and knew that she wanted to see this through.  So she just asked him, "What are you going to do?" 

He laughed and walked away from her.  Not an evil laugh, just a laugh that was hiding something.  "Do you remember our conversation a few weeks ago when you said you had always wondered what a riding crop would feel like down there?....  Yes, I can see that you do." She could now hear him rummaging through his things.  She knew it was sassy but she felt like she needed to reiterate what she had actually said, "I said I wondered and didn't necessarily want to try it. I just was curious as to what it felt like.  I don't want you to actually hurt me and I'm scared a riding crop will hurt." 

"I know you really want me to do this or you wouldn't have ever brought it up. You should know by now I would never hurt you.  You do trust me right?"

She only nodded her head.  

"I promise you're really going to enjoy this."

She tensed up knowing it was coming and then it happened.  Were it not for the restraints she would have came off the bed from the shock of it.  There was pain, but a good type of pain.  It felt like cold fire.  It was warm and then it cooled, but the intensity stayed.  This was amazing.  He kept doing it with just enough force to make her squirm and she was so wet that it was dripping now.  

Her breathing was heavy.  She had never been so aroused in her life and then he just stopped.  She could hear herself whining and begging for him not to leave her like that.  She had been reduced to begging, but this was what she wanted.  The torture of not knowing what was next was the most arousing part.

He had been very patient with her over their time getting to know one another.  He never pushed too much because he knew she would get frightened an run.  Never had he made demands of her that she wasn't ready for. He always knew how to sooth her fears. He seemed to enjoy watching her find her own submission. 

He was just wonderful.  

He crawled between her legs and kissed the inside of both of her thighs.  

"Shh...Now I'm going to make it all better." 

Saturday, April 21, 2012

At Peace

I have traveled such a long rocky road this last year.  It's funny my life may be in more disarray than before but I am at peace with the way life is turning out.  It's amazing how someone like myself can just be fine with the chaos.  Walking away from something you have dedicated yourself too for years can be both the easiest and most difficult decision.  Out of sheer stubbornness I thought I could will something to what I wanted.  People don't work that way, and even if they did it would not be fair. Now I guess I will actually start my journey through this life.  I've come to see that I have not been living, I have been existing.  It's time to find myself and just be happy.  I don't think feeling sorry for myself is going to fix anything.  I do, however, know that I have a lot of adjusting to do.  Who knows maybe (gasp) it will actually be interesting.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Growing Pains

I can see you in my heart and smile
But can no longer look at you and see your own

I knew you when you were happy
Now I wake beside a lonely stranger

There was once and innocent niave love
In its place now resides a cold indifference

For a moment in time I couldn't live without you
Now with a heavy heart I have let you go

I can see you in my heart and smile
I only wish to look at you and see it again