This post is about dullness that eventually happens in every relationship. My dear husband and I have been together for six years. Two children and a lot of life later I have noticed our desire for each other lessen. As a woman I can't help but to ask myself things like: Am I different? probably. Am I not attractive to him anymore? who knows.
But I do know this: I am not the only woman who feels this way.
SEX - three little letters that scandalize people if spoken aloud. It is taboo and should be kept in the bedroom and not discussed aloud. SEX is a big part of a relationship for me and it controls the dynamics of a relationship whether people want to admit it or not. So here is my dilemma:
For as long as I can remember I have been a forward and domineering female. I enjoy making men cower from me because it proves they arent worthy (in my head anyway) I'm 5'10 and built like a woman should be with curves and meat in the right places. My husband met me and was head-over-heels so to speak. He was so sweet and attentive, but he didn't back down from me when I tried to bully him into giving me my way. Now things are different, he's different or rather indifferent. So one day I ask him why he was so withdrawn. His reply, "You emasculate me. I am supposed to be in charge of this family and be 'man of the house'...." and my reply was "show me then, make me." This was not me threatening him or challenging him in that way of territory. This was me saying I want you to take it away. Put me in my place. I secretly have always wanted that. Since that little discussion things have not exactly changed I have attempted to curb my words and ask instead of demand. But during that exchange I realized something about myself: I want to be dominated the way he wants control, but I believe I have done so much damage over the years that he is left confused. I see this with our sex life too he is just used to be me being in charge and doing what needs to be done- choosing the positions telling him how to and when to. What have I done to myself??? and how do I fix it?
I started the fix for the same thing for us by texting him and telling him i wanted him to not let me say no, at all. I was referring to sex at that point - and it took some pushing on his part and some will power on my part - but that's where we started. The rest grew from there.
ReplyDeleteI think there is always room for evolution in a relationship. No matter the damage, with some effort, things can be fixed. Though it's harder to fix than break I believe...Still, change is possible. We just have to put one foot in front of the other.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to blogland.
Thanks for both of your comments! I completely agree with the fixing and breaking thing.
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